rYan does comedY

Anonymous asked: so what does a girl have to do to get your attention?

Getting my attention is easy. I can sense all girls in a 10 block area. Whatever else I’m thinking of, I’m also thinking of girls.

If on the other hand, you’re asking me what it takes to get me to notice and return a lady’s romantic/sexual advances, it takes kind of a lot, to be honest. It’s not that I have extremely high standards (or even above average standards). It’s that I’m extremely socially obtuse. I enjoy social situations and lively conversations, however, after years of social tyranny and sexual demoralization (read: high school) I conditioned myself to believe that the main reason a person would talk to me is if I was in their way.

I’m doing better with that now, and I love going to parties and talking to people. I’m pretty good at it. I know a tiny bit about almost everything, plus, I can tell you the actress from that movie you were trying to think of. But even after a long conversation, there’s still that tiny voice that keeps going “oops, better get out of her way.” And so I usually end the conversation with something like “well, it was great meeting you! I’ll see you around!” And she’ll be confused and wondering why I didn’t ask or her number, and I’ll be walking away thinking “you know, someday, I just might have a shot with her! I hope I bump into her accidentally again someday!”

So to answer your question, the best way for a girl to let me know she’s interested in me is to wave flags or write it on my face. If a girl tries sending me subtle signals, I’ll probably just apologize and move.

Also, I hope this didn’t make me sound damaged. I was going for charming, light, and witty, but it’s just on the border of making sound broken and tragic. I promise I’m not.

Here’s a picture of me smiling and interacting with a friend:

I’m the drunk-looking one on the right.

Does some part of that answer your question?

Thanks for asking!

Ryan

(If it takes me a while to answer your question, I apologize. It just means that your question forced me to think, which can take some time.)