rYan does comedY

lemonlove:

fuckyeahtrannies:

nanablog:

Retirement is looking a tad bit sweeter.

“The Elsie Frank House, the nation’s first nursing home built specifically to assist lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender senior citizens, is set to open soon in Chelsea, MA. “

this is totally awesome!

This is something I would never even have thought of. Nice job expanding my world view, society.

I love that Lost eventually got to the point where they started to run out of twists to put before commercial breaks. So instead, every other break they just have a random character walk into the room and they all stare at each other and act weirded out and the music goes eeeEEEEHHHH!!!!! Blackout.

And then when it comes back from commercial, they’re just like “oh, hey, what’s up?”“nothing.”“cool.” And then they go do something else.

I find that charming.

funnyordie:

Funny or Die’s Presidential Reunion

Starring: Will Ferrell, Jim Carrey, Dana Carvey, Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, Darrell Hammond, Fred Armisen, Maya Rudolph, and directed by Ron Howard.

Barack Obama gets a surprise visit in the night from ex-Presidents Bush Sr., Bush Jr., Clinton, Ford, Reagan and Carter to get a few pointers about the Consumer Financial Protection Agency and why it’s so important.

This was pretty much the most exciting thing for me.

schbank:

The earthquake that struck Chile on Saturday may have shifted the Earth’s axis and created shorter days, according to scientists at Nasa. Richard Gross, a geophysicist at Nasa’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California, said the 8.8 magnitude quake could have moved the Earth’s axis by 2.7 milliarcseconds (about 8cm) – enough to shorten a day by about 1.26 microseconds.

Great. Now I’ve got even less time to finish this paper.

February 26th was workout day. Check out how I works on my fitness.

What’s yellow and seldom rings?

An unlisted banana.

(via maeby)

Anonymous asked: so what does a girl have to do to get your attention?

Getting my attention is easy. I can sense all girls in a 10 block area. Whatever else I’m thinking of, I’m also thinking of girls.

If on the other hand, you’re asking me what it takes to get me to notice and return a lady’s romantic/sexual advances, it takes kind of a lot, to be honest. It’s not that I have extremely high standards (or even above average standards). It’s that I’m extremely socially obtuse. I enjoy social situations and lively conversations, however, after years of social tyranny and sexual demoralization (read: high school) I conditioned myself to believe that the main reason a person would talk to me is if I was in their way.

I’m doing better with that now, and I love going to parties and talking to people. I’m pretty good at it. I know a tiny bit about almost everything, plus, I can tell you the actress from that movie you were trying to think of. But even after a long conversation, there’s still that tiny voice that keeps going “oops, better get out of her way.” And so I usually end the conversation with something like “well, it was great meeting you! I’ll see you around!” And she’ll be confused and wondering why I didn’t ask or her number, and I’ll be walking away thinking “you know, someday, I just might have a shot with her! I hope I bump into her accidentally again someday!”

So to answer your question, the best way for a girl to let me know she’s interested in me is to wave flags or write it on my face. If a girl tries sending me subtle signals, I’ll probably just apologize and move.

Also, I hope this didn’t make me sound damaged. I was going for charming, light, and witty, but it’s just on the border of making sound broken and tragic. I promise I’m not.

Here’s a picture of me smiling and interacting with a friend:

I’m the drunk-looking one on the right.

Does some part of that answer your question?

Thanks for asking!

Ryan

(If it takes me a while to answer your question, I apologize. It just means that your question forced me to think, which can take some time.)

Sometimes, I scare myself.

(WAH wah!)