July 2008
Note to self: shirt joke.
Note to self: shirt joke. hope i remember what this means when i read this tomorrow.
Jul 28th
Is Everything Going To Be Okay?  →
Jul 28th
“There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love...”
Jul 26th
1 note
It's true what they say.
It’s true what they say. Guns don’t kill people. People kill people. But it’s infinitely harder to control the proliferation of people.
Jul 25th
“Camp of the 11th NY Battery. Feby 9th 1864 Dear Hattie Pardon the...”
– http://spec.lib.vt.edu/cwlove/dearhattie.html this seems unnecessarily intense.
Jul 25th
Jul 21st
Scariest gang ever: fred durst,
Scariest gang ever: fred durst, k-fed, trent reznor. And maybe throw dee snyder in there.
Jul 18th
my washer
I just heard my washing machine making weird sounds, so I went to see what it was doing. I looked in and decided that what it was doing was perfectly normal. Then I thought about it and realized that I have absolutely no idea how a washing machine normally runs. For all I know, it was about to explode. Is this a masculine “I think I understand all machines” thing?
Jul 15th
nicknames
WIld Bill Hickock Buffalo Bill Cody did they have fewer names back then? did people get confused? -Did you see what Bill Hickock did yesterday? -What? Which Bill Hickock? You’re gonna have to be more specific. -Oh, my mistake. The wild Bill Hickock. -Oh. That one.
Jul 14th
jolie's twins
Angelina Jolie had her twins. the names: knox leon and vivenne marcheline. Your mom would have to be angelina jolie for you to get away with it.
Jul 13th
It would be funny if
It would be funny if they had security guards at movie theaters frisking people for contraband candy.
Jul 12th
Aren't mints called mints because
Aren’t mints called mints because they’re mint flavored? So shouldn’t pomegranate mints really be called pomegranates?
Jul 12th
Reasons you don't hear about
Reasons you don’t hear about people getting arrested for driving high.
Jul 12th
deodorant instructions
Deodorant instructions: use daily for best results. Is there a group of people saying ‘none for me! i just used deodorant yesterday?’
Jul 11th
Claire (12: 13)
yaaaaaaaaaaay!
Ryan (12: 14)
i know!!! know what would be funny? a guy who could see the future, but only things with positive outcomes and only things as exciting crossing the street.
Claire (Autoreply) (12: 19)
i just want you to take control of me
Ryan (12: 19)
he would just see things like getting a newspaper without dropping it
Claire (12: 22)
hahhahhahahhhhahhahhaha, you are hiiiiigh
Jul 11th
Six flags says more flags
Six flags says more flags more fun. Im going to open 7 flags. Our slogan: see six flags slogan.
Jul 10th
this fly
This fly is in my bathroom, flying in circles lost. It’s sad because flys only live for a day and this one has totally fucked it up.
Jul 8th
“Given that millions of people… were killed, injured, and left homeless by...”
– Sharon Stone: PETA Would Rather Tinker With Sharon Stone’s Brain Than Wear Fur
Jul 7th
“he was the screenwriter on Armageddon and thus was responsible for none of the...”
– http://www.cracked.com/article_15688_grossly-inaccurate-review-punisher.html
Jul 7th
here's a thing
this is gonna be my pre-blog blog. it’ll be more honest and less refined. so a lot of it will just be things i think are funny on their own merits or things that aren’t at all funny, and need me to punch them up. i like funny things.
Jul 7th